So I'm working on a new writing project right now. I've had the general idea in my head for years, but haven't yet found a way to construct it. I'm feeling a bit frustrated because my efforts to form a good plot and write an outline are failing me. I've rewritten the plot SO many times, and I know that I'm going through a normal process of writing, but it's hard to deal with. Anyone who ever said writing is easy is lying to themselves. It's one of the hardest things to do. But it's also one of the greatest things, which is why I do it. It may be frustrating at times, but the result of seeing the finished product is always so rewarding and and worth the struggle. I'll just have to hang in there, until I pin down my plot and gain some writing momentum. That's when the fun truly begins! In other news, my music library is out of control and I can barely find songs that I want to listen to because I keep forgetting song names and artists. Usually when I find songs, I'll listen to it once and then if I like it, I'll save it so I can listen later. Unfortunately a lot of the time I forget about some songs and months down the line I hear it again and think, "hey I've heard that before." When I start humming or singing a song in my head, I desperately try to find what song it is -- I then have to go through my ENTIRE library. Sigh. But on the bright side, going through my playlists helps me discover old favourites. It's a bittersweet situation. Also, I'm in a reading slump and it's killing me! Anyone who considers themselves an avid reader will know that reading slumps are the absolute WORST things in life. All I want to do is read and good book! Sigh again. I just noticed this post is me just venting my frustrations. COOL. I'm going to go now. Okay bye.
Since my last post about underrated YouTubers, I've discovered many more amazing people to watch. These people give me inspiration and are generally just awesome people that deserve to be noticed.
1. AConMann
I truly believe that Connor is one of the best things to ever happen to YouTube. His videos are insightful and thought provoking, and so inspiring. I wonder how one person can be so amazing, and all I want to do is meet him one day and have hours of debates and shared opinions. He is an incredible human being, and I admire him.
2. Smoothiefreak
Okay, what can I say about this woman?? Akilah is a riot! She is so genuine and witty and I can't help but smile or laugh while watching her videos. She's my most recent find, and I couldn't be more pleased. I binged-watched her videos and I'm not even sorry! I love her.
3. Kristina Horner
Kristina is such a nerd, but in the greatest way. I'm a proud nerd myself, and her videos include gaming, books, and sometimes fashion. Her videos are vlog style, so she just sits in front of the camera and talks, which is nice.
4. Emilyofnewgloom
Emily makes visually stunning videos that make me want to get off my lazy butt, grab my camera and film something (like I told myself I'd start doing over a year ago). Her videos are so peaceful and beautiful. I wish she'd post more regularly, but her videos are definitely worth the watch!
5. ApprenticeEh
I've been watching ApprenticeEh for years now. Corey Vidal is at its core, but everyone else who lives in the ApprenticeEh house make the channel what it is. I'm Canadian, so I relate 100% to their content, but even if you're not from Canada, they appeal to everyone. They're just fun and their daily vlogging gives me something to look forward to everyday.
Hope you enjoyed this list! I'll be back with another one in the near future :)
This past weekend I celebrated my 20th birthday. It's kind of crazy to think of myself no longer as a teenager. I've been alive for two decades... wow. They say when you turn 18 you're an adult, but it doesn't feel like it at that age. And although I don't exactly feel like I'm 20 yet, I'll give it a few more days, or weeks, or months until it sinks in. I want to enjoy being young and reckless a little while longer before I have to think about having a career, starting a family, and all that jazz. I have two more years left before I get my degree, so I think that'll be enough time before I'm shackled down by too many responsibilities. For my birthday, I had two amazing days with my wonderful family and my closest friends. I spent one day partying (like a normal young female might do), and the other day just relaxing on the beach. The beach day was definitely the best day. I felt relaxed and calmed by the view of the water, the cool breeze, and the familiar smiling faces around me. I also got to reunite with a few people I hadn't seen in quite some time. Everyone seemed to be having fun, and so was I. Aside from the water being incredibly cold (like literally freezing and when I got out I was shivering for almost half an hour), it was still the perfect day. Here are a few photos of that day:
I may be a winter girl at heart, but I also love the season I was born in. - Lily <3
Here's my June indie music picks! Hope you enjoy. This month has been so lovely in the musical department, and some of these songs are my writing inspirations at the moment.
So I've been slacking a bit when it comes to doing the things that I love. For instance, I love to sing, but I haven't been singing much lately. I listen to beautiful songs everyday, but I haven't been humming and singing along like normal. I just kind of sit there, hearing the song, but not really taking in the lyrics--the true meaning.
But the main thing--the biggest passion of mine--that I've been neglecting, is writing. As you may be able to tell, I haven't been writing much of anything. When I first started blogging, it was all about writing and letting random people get to know my deepest inner thoughts. Then I took everything down and made a new blog--this one. And it's not the same. I think that's because I was afraid to be real and just share my thoughts with strangers. I have this crazy feeling that no one cares, or they'll think I'm weird for thinking certain things or saying certain things. Which is ridiculous, and I know that. It's the anxiety talking.
I've realized in the last few months that I care way too much about being judged than I care about having a voice. I don't know why, but I always put myself inside of this box that only allows me to do what I think other people will like, instead of doing what I love.
So today I'm fixing that. I'm changing my attitude--which is not an overnight process by any means--and saying screw it! Here I am. In the flesh. Raw and original. I am going to write more, sing more, be more of myself. It's the only way I know how to be.
But if anyone ever feels this way... like you're kind of just floating by with the tide instead of fighting against the current, don't give up. Instead, why not just swim?
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